Hello. Is there anybody out there?

It has recently come to my attention that I have not written in a while. I think I have been avoiding it.

My body is about the same. I’m on oral immunosuppressants. This is in place of the chemo I did last year. They are great (I’m lying). Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just quit taking all the medication they have me on. Sixteen pills a day, down to none. I mean, the doctors admit they don’t know if the pills are really helping. They are, however, killing my liver. Bonus, they may give me blood cancer down the line. I’m going to be honest, lately I have been obsessed with trying that cannabis oil that doesn’t make you high. A few drops under my tongue, and I’m good. I wonder if it would work.

Mentally, I am a bit unstable. I try to keep my spirits up, I really do try, but this gets SO OLD. I want to just flail and kick and force everything to just work out. I want to work again. I don’t want to be stuck, like a slug, waiting for life to just happen to me. I am not that person. I do the LIVE pearl thing to keep sane, and feel like I’m at least a functioning member of the household, but it’s all smoke and mirrors.

I just happened to turn on my phone today while I was sitting in the parking lot at the bank. I had been trying to find and gather together change to deposit, in an attempt to keep us from over drafting again. I happened to turn on a Facebook Live feed, I don’t know why, that was just starting. He didn’t say anything I haven’t heard before. He didn’t give some great revelation that I haven’t been preached at countless times in the last year and a half. It just hit me differently today. He said, “It may seem dark right now. You may be in a winter. But, this is a season. It will pass. I promise you, it will pass.” As I sat there with pennies and nickles in my hand, prepared to go in and make a measly deposit to save our banking account, the words hit me like a brick to the head. This is a season. It sucks now. It is awful now. It is the lowest of the lows now. But, we will get through this. It will eventually take an upturn. Please, God, it has to take an upturn.img_1553-1

So, to anyone that needs to hear it … You WILL get through this. It sucks now. I know it sucks. The season will end, though. This is but a season. It is the winter, and spring always follows.

I love you all.

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My Besties

I am weird. I fully admit this. I’m not like stalker weird, but I do have best friends who don’t realize I am alive, let alone know that we are best friends. Is that crazy?

I might be CrAzY.


I blame my weird friend acquisition completely on social media. A year ago I had friends, friends of the reach-out-and-touch-them variety. I still have these friends, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes life gets all gummed up and in the way. I don’t get to see, or spend time with, my live-in-town friends nearly as often as I would like. I usually can’t call them up and just chat about nothing in general at any given time of the day when I feel bored. They’re busy with their kids’ activities, dinner, life, whatever.

So what did you have for breakfast?


Enter social media. It’s like a world of magic, instant gratification, electronic fairies who make friendships with anyone, at anytime, in any location, in any country possible. At any given moment, I can log onto one of my social media accounts, and the world opens up to me. It’s my oyster, and I’ll take it.

The cyber world is your oyster, man!


Sometimes, I log into a continuous conversation I’m having via Messenger with about eight different people at any given time. I also have my friends who are members of several groups I follow. In these groups, people post things on the “wall.” I can choose to interact with these posts at any time I so desire. Sometimes I’m not even really sure what the group is about. Who cares! There are people (I’m assuming they are people) interacting with me!

I hardly wear makeup. Who cares?!?


Then there is the “liking” of posts. It’s an easy way to say, “Hey, girl, hey! I see your post, and I was here.” Sometimes, I get brave enough to post something on a group’s wall. Sometimes I even get likes in return! It’s like magic! It makes me feel so popular and loved. Do these people know me? Not really! Most of them have no idea what I even look like, but that’s the magic of social media.
But, my bestest of best friends are found as the face of some of the LIVE streams I follow on social media. I have a select few I follow, but I know all there is to (publicly) know about these, my besties! My husband even knows, and refers to them as, “Best friend 2, 3, and 4.” I do have ONE “real” best friend. I’m not THAT much of a whack-a-doo! Best friends 2, 3, and 4 are as real as social media gets, though.

So I have friends on the computer who don’t know I exist. Who cares?!!


Sometimes, they even say my name in response to something I’ve written in the feed of their LIVE show. It’s like they ACTUALLY know me!! I mean, they say my name, out loud, in front of their other gazillion followers. Besties, I tell ya! They really get me.

They accept me as I am.


Okay, it’s slightly possible I’m a little crazy, but doesn’t it feel this way sometimes? There are so many people we follow online these days. We spend so much time reading their blogs or watching their LIVES, it’s like we actually know them. It kind of blurs the line between celebrity and those that watch from behind a screen. Social media allows us to interact with, and know people, like never before.

Who are your best social media friends?

It’s my blog. I can vent if I want to.

Some days are hard. Living in this broken body sucks more than you know. It’s more broken than some of you will ever understand. I will never, ever see people that knew me before. I mean, of course I will see the people around here. I have no choice in that. But, I will never go back and see those that knew me before. I can’t walk right. I can’t run. I can’t even hop. I can’t walk upstairs without help, I can’t walk downstairs without help. I have trouble writing, and I have trouble with all hand eye coordination activities. I talk with a slur. I get worn out very quickly. I look different. It breaks my heart a little. 

I know everybody is probably sick of me talking about it. But, It is what it is. I want to go back in time about 10 years. I want to be friends with, and know people from before. It just isn’t going to happen.

I’m not excusing it at all, but I sort of don’t blame people or persons for things that have happened recently. Who knows, if it was me, it might’ve happened too. I take that back. It most definitely would not have happened. I can understand though. I am so broken, it’s hard to be around me. I’m not the same person.

I mean, I am exactly the same person inside, but outside I am broken. On the outside I am a freak show.

I know, I know. Beauty is on the inside, not on the outside. But, let’s be honest, that’s bull crap. Maybe I am still cool on the inside. But, I’m so messed up on the outside it’s hard to see the inside.

It makes me sad. It makes me mad. And just couple that with recent events. I am a mess.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s the way I acted and the way I was when I was younger that has caused this. Not caused this really, but maybe it’s the reason this has been allowed. I was mean, I was cruel, I was uncaring, I was a bit narcissistic. I was awful. If you were in the path of that, I truly am sorry. I did it out of bad self-esteem and self loathing. That doesn’t excuse it. But, again, it is what what it is.

OK, let’s end this on a positive note. The sun is shining, I am alive, I have kids that love me. I’ll get through it like always, it’s just a bad day. I am feeling very very very very broken.

πŸ’œπŸ’œ

Sicky sick, Father’s Day, and wormholes

I have been so, so sick this weekend. Thank God J made me go to the doctor in Friday, because it would have only gotten worse, and I can’t imagine much worse. Everyone else had allergies, but thanks to Imuran (my immunosuppressant), it turned into bronchitis with a weird ear infection in the ear I can’t feel. Then I mixed that up with a little puking, and it just rounded out an otherwise boring weekend. I have to mix it up a bit sometimes. Now, I’m done with my turn on the Ferris wheel 🎑 of sickness. It’s somebody else’s turn to take a ride! (Nobody at this house!!)

This is what sick looks like.

So, once again, I am way behind in every aspect of writing in my life. But, guess what … it’s okay! It a new week, time for new starts!!
Father’s Day and Andrew’s birthday are coming up. Poor Andrew. It was on the eve of his birthday I first went to the Randolph ER by ambulance. (What a frickin joke all around.) So, I want to do something special for him this year. We don’t have the $$ to do what he wants (Wonderworks in Pigeon Forge). He has wanted that the last 2 birthdays, and thanks to ME, we can’t go. How do I break that to him again?!? And, what the heck do I do instead that’s fun, but cheap (or free is better)?

I mean, Come on!! How do I say, “We can’t afford it this year,” to that?!?

What about Father’s Day? Here’s where I get weird and superstitious. I had the perfect idea for my dad last year, even bought all the components, and then BOOM! Life changed. He never got his gift. And, J’s gift was spending time with me in the hospital. Yes, I’m scared. Yes, I’m stupid for being superstitious, but neither one is getting a gift until AFTER Father’s Day this year. I also have no idea for J. Neither of them are MEN MEN. Hunting, fishing, grilling, sports, all a nope for both of them. 

I don’t have a decent picture of them together, so here is a good reminder.

So I was looking around Facebook, at different sites, blogs, and pictures for ideas regarding this upcoming week? MAN!! There are some wormholes up in Facebook land!! I was reading (too long) about beets, and that brought me to bath bombs and crafts, which led me to house fires and sweet tea, which led me to Eddie Vedder (it ALWAYS comes back to Eddie Vedder), which lead me to Chris Cornell. Sad way to end my search, but it was 12:00am when I started. When I looked up, it was 3am!! What?!? Wormholes. They get you every time!! AND … I still have no idea what the week will bring!! It will be a surprise for all of us. 

Well, I have a date with dreamland! Until next time. Pay that stuff forward!! Be happy … life is to short. Make others happy. There is absolutely no need to bring others down. Remember, those that are abrasive with you are people too. You never know what they are going through in the background. Your’s may be the only smile and kind word they have all day. ❀️

See you there!!

Sunday, the end of the week

This week has been … well … a week. Let’s get this out of the way, so we can move on. Top five craptastic things that happened this week:

  1. Chris Cornell, one of the pioneers of the grunge movement (near and dear to the fiber of who I have become as an adult) passed away. It was ruled death by hanging, which is being disputed by his family.
  2. Ringling Bros. & Barnum & Bailey circus had their last performance on Sunday. They have been an active, touring circus for 146 years. Just think about that for a minute. 
  3. The Saudis and Trump are apparently buddy-buddy. I don’t know exactly what the implications of that are, but I don’t think I like it.
  4. North Korea is all slaphappy with missles and weapons of mass distruction. Okay, maybe I didn’t read that last part. But, it’s possible.
  5. I still don’t have J. Gilligans’ Irish Nachos sitting in front of my face, piping hot and ready to be devoured.

Now that we have the bad out of the way, let’s focus on some positive, good things that happened this week.

  1. … Hold on, I’ll think of something … We are all alive! Everyone reading this has opened their eyes to another day.
  2. I got my mom’s website and store working. Shout out to Claudia’s Carolina Creations! There is still a long way to go, but it’s a good start!
  3. I found out my sister-in-law is coming out with two of my nephews, one of which I have not met yet.
  4. I got to hold a baby. It does the soul good.
  5. We were blessed, once again, by the food fairy.

Whew! It took me a few beats, but I was able to think of some good things! That goes to show you, if you try hard enough, you can find good in anything. Watch Pollyanna!

What does MommaPossum have coming up for you this week? Well, Monday is always motivation day … for all of us … so stick around to have the motivation knocked right out of you. Or knocked right in you. Or whatever. Tuesday, we may work on our Unbirthday crafts. At some point this week, I would like to do a LIVE on Facebook, and a post about our downtown. It’s a pretty small town, and the buildings hold a lot of history. So, be sure and join us for all the fun!

Be sure to follow MommaPossum on Facebook for LIVES, more motivation, fun, and plain old mindless meanderings!

Saved!

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“Hello, my name is Amanda, and I have a hoarding problem.”


I have mentioned this before. I save entirely too many things on the Facebooks. It’s stuff I love, but in reality, I will never go back and use the goodness I have saved. 

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In the guise of being giving and sharing, I am going to post some of them here. I really hope this is allowed. If not, someone come bail me out of Facebook jail.


Without further ado, I give you: Random Stuff I Have Saved on Facebook 

  • Mama Loves Food is one of my favorite sites! I love to watch April go live every Tuesday and Thursday, working her voodoo magic in the kitchen, always whipping up the perfect meal. From her site (where she has about a gazillion recipes), I have saved these refrigerated pickles. Yum! Somebody make them, and tell me how excellent they are!
  • Quirky Momma always, always has the best ideas for activities to do with your kids (or, if I’m being honest, stuff I just want to do myself). Here they have made a magic copy machine putty. Now, I cannot ever get homemade goop to come together, but with crossed fingers and toes, I might be able to pull it off.
  • Quirky Momma does it again with this Lemonade Cake. I’m going to be honest, it’s 2:30am right now, but I want to make this!  It looks so yummy!! Is it weird that I hate lemon-flavored candy, but LOVE any pastry, pie, cake, ice cream, or cookies that are lemon?
  • Spaceships and Laserbeams posted this about Dutch Babies.  I used to get Dutch Babies at a restaurant while living in TX. They aren’t exactly the same, but I bet they are still delicious! Gosh, I miss that crappy little diner.
  • Tasty is always putting things out that make my mouth water. This video about French Toast is no different. Tell my husband to make me this for Mother’s Day!
  • Okra is probably my favorite vegetable. I like it fried, boiled, steamed, and in recipes. Thanks to April at Mama Loves Food, I can now enjoy it roasted as well.
  • Thanks to the Totally The Bomb website, I can make a plethora of recipes using my new favorite contraption: the electric pressure cooker. By the way, Totally The Bomb has just about the best articles, ever. *wink*
  • I love dips, but I never have occasion to make them. That obviously doesn’t matter, because I’ve saved ANOTHER recipe from Mama Loves Food. This time April has worked her wizardry to bring us a garlic cream cheese dip from heaven itself.
  • Obviously, I love food. Mommy Hates Cooking posted this copy-cat Disney (another obsession of mine) corn dog recipe. Man, I want a corn dog right now … and a trip to Disney!
  • The Blossom site posted ingenious ways to use ice cube trays. I really need to try these. They really are genius.
  • Tasty Vegetarian promises me I can regrow fruit from what I have in my kitchen. They, obviously, don’t know that I have the opposite of a green thumb. I could still try it! With the magic putty and the regrown fruit in my kitchen, I may have a huge mess (and fun pictures of said mess).

I don’t want to be overwhelming, so I’ll stop there for now. It seems I have a ton of recipes, and food-related posts saved. Don’t let this fool you. We usually have sandwiches or something from a box for supper. Yes, processed foods. I’m a horrible person, I know. *smile*

Join me again, on what day, I have no idea, and I’ll post more links from my stash. I’m telling you, I have the best of the best from the interwebs “saved” on my Facebook page!

Until next time, be happy. Pay that happiness forward. Be healthy. Help those that may be poor in health, with small (or heck, make ’em huge) acts of kindness. And, join us on Facebook at MommaPossum.

#notacrafter

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I love crafts. I love all kinds of crafts. I love to try my hand at all things crafty. There’s only one problem, I’m no good at any of them. It’s a serious problem. I agree to do these swapy things on IG (amandamoring), but then I fail at everything I try. I mean, it’s like a bad string of Pinterest fails. I have the best intentions, and my heart is totally in it, but *cringe* *hangs head* *hides behind furniture* it’s bad.

I do FINE with the things where I have to buy stuff, like mugs, but it’s the making of the things where I fail. The things I make looks like I accidentally dropped them out of a plane, went and retrieved them from the carnage, and then still gave them as gifts. I swear to you, I try so hard!!

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So here is my delima: I have to make seven “Unbirthday” gifts for random people I don’t know. At this point, that’s one a month. I was thinking about those tile coasters that have swirly paint, but I forget how to make them, and is that lame? I was also thinking about premade canvas carryall bags with “Happy Unbirthday” stenciled on. I have a vague idea of how to do this from a friend, but I’m afraid it will look like a two year old did it.

See, I can’t even design a good picture!


I wish I had a freaking Cricuit machine! I’d make Unbirthday shirts and mugs … batta-bing batta-boom. But, NO! That would be too easy. I do have a sewing machine, and can sew a straight line. A also have a crap-ton of yarn. I can make finger infinity scarves, but I’m afraid that is too basic. I wish I could draw. I’d make canvas art for them. If I could hand-letter, I could make some cool acrostic thing.

It is a simple contraption of beauty.


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Hey, Cricuit! Want to sponsor me? I’d be happy to make one craft a week using your product!! *smile* It could show how the non-crafty craft enthusiast can make cool things without much talent!

Shoot, I just went to their website. Now I want all the Cricuit things! Ugh. It sucks not having the money to do fun things. See, this why I have to get this blog bigger … SPONSORS!
Okay, please, if you have any ideas for Unbirthday, handmade, legit, good gifts, please comment below. πŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌ If not, I’ll still love you, but it will make my life complicated. I’ll have to think *gasp*. We wouldn’t want that, now!

Be kind to each other. Pass on Random Acts of Kindness. Make life full of love, not hate.

Motivation Monday

Not my picture, don’t know where it came from, but BRING IT Monday!


There are just some days that we need more motivation than usual to get through the span of 24 hours. Mondays seem to be that day for most people. Granted, there are breakthrough times when we need to hold hands and sing kumbaya with motivation, but consistently, Mondays are rough.

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So what do you do when you have the blahs? What do you do to get yourself up and moving, to face the day with a glimmer of a smile? Here are five things you can try to kick your Monday mojo into gear.

  1. Set an alarm across the room so you have to get up to turn it off. Once up, take a moment to stretch. Maybe do some simple yoga poses. Stretching will help you ease into the day, and wake your body up gently.
  2. Read your bible. Even if it’s for five minutes. Starting your day reading an uplifting chapter can really carry you through the day with a positive attitude and a go-get-em’ attitude.
  3. Journal. I know, I know, this is my answer for just about everything. It really does help, though. It starts your mind off on the right foot for the day. It helps you organize your day, and get your mind ready to focus on work, or whatever else you might have to do.
  4. Pray, meditate, or have a moment of silence. This sets your mind straight, and lets you give your troubles away. 
  5. Listen to a sermon or motivational message while you get ready. This, again, gets your mind where it needs to be. You will start your day on a positive note, and hopefully be able to carry the positivity with you through the day.

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I know, it’s Monday. Mondays stink. It, for most, is the hardest day of the week. But, try one or more of the ideas above. They just might help you get happy, motivated, and able to face that Monday like the fierce, positive person you are.

Again, not my picture, but so true!

Uninspired today

Uninspired.

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I’m working on trying to go out of town for a night, just to get away. Like I told y’all before, if was PRESCRIBED. That means I HAVE to do it. πŸ™‚ I looked up several different vacations for the weekend of May 26, because the kids are not in school that Mondays. Prices are jacked up everywhere!! I wanted to go to Disney, just to stay in the hotel, go to the pool, write, etc. Just the rooms were crazy. I WANTED to stay at Animal Kingdom Lodge or the Polynesian. Nope. The rooms were like $645 a night. Even the cheap hotels were like $190 a night. So, Orlando is out.

I looked into Gatlinburg. Every hotel I could find was like $249 or more a night. Dude. I just want a balcony on which I can sit and write. J just wants to sleep. I do not have that kind of frickin’ money.

Any ideas on where else I can go? Really, I’ve only technically been prescribed “overnight” to get away. If I can pull off more nights, though, I’d love it. I want a balcony I can which I can go out and write.

This is just a picture, so I can change subjects without being completely awkward.


So I’m toying with the idea of having a theme day for this bloggy thing. Like Monday is motivation day, Tuesday is crafty day, etc. I don’t know. I’m just rolling the idea around in my head for now. 

Well, this is short and really boring tonight, but I’m trying to write every day in May. So, boring or not, there’s going to be something here! Suggestions are welcome and appreciated.

Be happy. Be kind. Be compassionate toward others. Make the world a place of love and not hate. 

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Day four: there’s an actual article at the end! :-0

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Is this four in a row? I think this is four in a row!! It’s a record!


So, I’ve gotten myself a bit over my head. I signed up for a craft swap thingy on Instagram (AmandaMoring) in like December. It is an Unbirthday swapy-swap thingy. I have to send handmade gifts to like 6 people sometime this year, but it can’t be during their birth month. These are FIRST-CLASS crafters! I mean, they make these amazingly pieced together quilts, awesome jewelry, cross stitched portraits, handmade bags, and … well … I forget what else right now. The point is, they are awesome! I am … NOT. I was sort of on the okay side before last year, but not so much now. I have been thinking about hand screening a print onto a premade bag that says, “Happy Unbirtday,” but I don’t know. I have been researching home printing, and I can do it using home latex paint, organza, and an embroidery hoop. I don’t know. I can barely write. What do you think?

One of the AWESOME mini quilts I received. See how good they are?!?


I wish I had more interesting things to talk about, but it’s sort of hard when I sit at home 24/7. I don’t experience enough to have things to write about. I could talk about the five episodes I watched of Reba today. Or, maybe I should discuss the nuances of Last Man Standing, and the six episodes I watched of that today. Then there’s my ever-messier house. I’m sure y’all would love to read about that!! 


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So I guess I can write a short, article-type post so you don’t die of boredom. Let’s see … 

5 Ideas for Starting Your Own Blog

I have been a big supporter of everyone starting a blog. It is cheap therapy, it is a place for your voice, it is a space for you to totally be you. While you can just write a blog like a diary, much as I usually do, if you want followers, there are some things you have to do. Your blog has to grab the attention of the follower. They should teach something, have an interesting story in each, or some other niche-y thing to keep the followers coming back. The following are five ideas for niche blogs you can try to get the followers.

  1. Makeup blog – these are huge right now. You can go link your blog to Facebook, and go live demonstrating an original or inspired makeup look. You can also be all about vegan makeup products, and focus on a different vegan company and products each blog. You can even blog about your favorite makeup artists, focusing on a different one each post. 
  2. Food blog – you know these are everywhere. You can focus on recipes you’ve made. You can focus on restaurants you love. You can focus on food from different cultures. Make sure to use a lot of pictures, and try to think of something to write about that isn’t already saturated in the market. 
  3. Travel blog – the sky is the limit here. You can write about vacations you take. You can write about different small towns throught your region. You can write about different amusement parks to visit. You can even do road-trips, and write about them. Bright and happy pictures would be of value to a blog like this. 
  4. Religious blog – pick a topic. You can do a biblestudy kind of post each time you write. You can focus on how the Bible pertains to life today. You can even focus on exploring specific religious sects and how they differ from each other. 
  5. Craft blog – are you crafty? Demonstrate a different craft each post, with step-by-step instructions and lots of pictures. 

So, there are five ideas to start you of on the right foot. The importance of CONSISTENCY can not be stressed enough. The age of social media has made us a society that moves quickly. We have zero attention span. If you don’t grab the reader in the first three sentences, they will be gone. If you don’t post daily, your followers will forget about you, and find someone else to follow. Pictures are also important to break up the reading. People love pictures.

Go get a free blog platform, and start writing! Let me know what your blog name is in the comments. I’d love to see your work.

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