Motivation, or lack thereof 

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Sorry about the language, if that’s offensive to you. I know this says Friday, but this is really any day for me. I have been sleeping, sleeping, sleeping. Not getting up. Not getting my coffee. Not kicking the day in the junk. I’ve just been sleeping.

For instance, I slept from about 2am until 12pm-ish today, stayed up (but in bed) until 3pm-ish, then woke up at 7pm. I had to force myself up, force myself to function. I really think ten months of these four walls is getting to me. I just don’t have the desire to do anything anymore. I have to have an internal FIGHT to drag myself up to do anything.

I was so desperate this evening, I called my dad to ask him if I could just ride with him to do his nightly errands. It was joyous just to get out, to just be human for a couple hours. It made me a different person for awhile when I got home.

(The skies burst while we were out. It was glorious!)

I actually had the desire and the energy to write an article for one of the sites I write for. This is a site that usually intimidates the crap out of me. I’m usually afraid to submit anything, for fear of looking like an imposter, and a freakish failure. But, after getting out, I felt like giving it a go. So I did. 

I wish I could keep this motivation up. I want to write for each of the two sites I submit to once a day, write on this blog daily, and work on the writing of a book daily. Then, somewhere in there, I want to work on my mom’s website, her Facebook, her Instagram, and help my dad with his social media. I could do it all. It’s just getting my butt up, not sleeping all day, and getting motivated. 

If I was more dang intentional about using my dang EC planner, it might help motivate me. If I could drive, it would be ON! I could actually get out of these four walls, and work on some of this somewhere other than here. Here. Here. Always Here.

Guess what. It’s 2am again. So far, I’m falling into the same pattern! LOL! I can’t help it. I do actually write better at night. More ideas come to me in the dark.

Anyone else this way? Am I just abi-normal? (Does anybody but me get that reference?)

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