Lately I do this FUN thing where, when someone really asks me how I’m doing, I start to cry. What the heck! How embarrassing is this. I mean, I can pull off the, “I’m fine,” with no problem. It’s when someone really, sincerely asks me, I lose it. It might be possible I am shoving some of this deep down, and ignoring the fact that sometimes I don’t feel I’m getting any better.
You know, when it gets too far past an event, and people forget, don’t care, or just don’t want to hear it anymore. That’s where I am, in that awkward stage of limbo … not nearly well, but “sick” for too long. No, I’m not okay, but nobody wants to head that. In my head they are rolling their eyes and thinking “Gosh, she is always so dang negative!” I don’t want to be that person. So I stay cooped up in my house so people don’t have to see me, talk to me, and face the elephant in the room … the one that says I am 42 and can’t be normal. I can’t drive, walk, take care of my kids, heck … hold my fricken bladder (keeping it real). I don’t look like I used to. Not only has the fricken Prednisone made me FAT, it has changed my features a bit.
I hate complaining. I am lucky I’m still here. I’m lucky I get to be around my wild children. I’m lucky my dog ran off today, forcing me to sit outside with the sun, the blue sky, the breeze, and all the beauty. It felt good just to breathe the fresh air (Crisis averted, by the way … mom came out of her house and got the dog). I’m lucky I still have friends that check on me, and love me without expecting anything in return.
In other news … someone give me something else to talk about!!!
I knew if I took a day off writing, it would be hard to get back into it. I’m not talking about writing a blog, I’m talking about writing articles or my 5000 word experiment. I was going to start project get-up-early and get-things-done today. Nope!! ROTFL! –That’s not exactly true. I did try to pick up in the front room a little, and I had two guests over for a bit. So, I did SOMETHING more than I usually do. But I had a list of like 20 things to do. I checked off like 2 things. Oh well, you know what, at least I checked off two things. I didn’t sleep all day … that’s better than I usually do!! Tomorrow is a new day. I have OT early, so maybe TOMORROW is the day I will start to get stuff done!!
I know long blogs are boring, so I will end here. Remember to stay kind. When you want to get exasperated with somebody remember, they are human too with their own things going on. How can you help them instead of being frustrated with them? 💜