Oh, ya know … 2:30 in the morning.

It is slightly possible that 14oz of coffee at 11:45pm was a bad idea. I thought, “I’ll be fine!” Nope! Can’t sleep! I have to be up for occupational therapy in 5 hours. More importantly, I have to get the kids up for school in 4 1/2 hours. Dang it! I guess more coffee at 6:30am it will be! 

WIDE AWAKE

So here is a funny tidbit from life this week. I’ve been taking too much Prednisone. You know, just like DOUBLE the amount I’m supposed to be taking. We got mixed up using 3 different bottles and mg of the pills. So, I have to slowly ween off … again. *ugh* Let this be a lesson to you, never combine mg of pills when trying to regulate your body. Or, at least be conscious enough when taking said pills to realize what you’re doing. *oops*

START A WHOLE MONTH OVER. IT’S COOL.

I gave away my first MommaPossum Random Act of Kindness this week! I wish I could do it EVERY DAY!!! I love doing random things to make people smile! The recipient probably already got the package, so I can tell you, it was a gratitude journal from Amazon. Now, coming from Amazon, I didn’t get to see it in person before I sent it. It looked pretty rad, though! Who can’t use some gratitude and goodness in their life. It’s what this page is all about, after all! 

I plan on doing more of these, so share the MommaPossum Facebook page with those you think could use some encouragement, and watch for Random Acts posts!

I’m going to try to sleep now. I feel a caffeine crash coming. I may as well take advantage of it!!

YES! REMEMBER THIS!

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Days of fun

Lately I do this FUN thing where, when someone really asks me how I’m doing, I start to cry. What the heck! How embarrassing is this. I mean, I can pull off the, “I’m fine,” with no problem. It’s when someone really, sincerely asks me, I lose it. It might be possible I am shoving some of this deep down, and ignoring the fact that sometimes I don’t feel I’m getting any better. 

Stroke picture

Yep. I’ve still got deficits. Deal with it!


You know, when it gets too far past an event, and people forget, don’t care, or just don’t want to hear it anymore. That’s where I am, in that awkward stage of limbo … not nearly well, but “sick” for too long. No, I’m not okay, but nobody wants to head that. In my head they are rolling their eyes and thinking “Gosh, she is always so dang negative!” I don’t want to be that person. So I stay cooped up in my house so people don’t have to see me, talk to me, and face the elephant in the room … the one that says I am 42 and can’t be normal. I can’t drive, walk, take care of my kids, heck … hold my fricken bladder (keeping it real). I don’t look like I used to. Not only has the fricken Prednisone made me FAT, it has changed my features a bit. 

Blah

Beautiful weather

Today was the perfect day, I would have missed if Stella hadn’t run off.


I hate complaining. I am lucky I’m still here. I’m lucky I get to be around my wild children. I’m lucky my dog ran off today, forcing me to sit outside with the sun, the blue sky, the breeze, and all the beauty. It felt good just to breathe the fresh air (Crisis averted, by the way … mom came out of her house and got the dog). I’m lucky I still have friends that check on me, and love me without expecting anything in return.

In other news … someone give me something else to talk about!!!

I knew if I took a day off writing, it would be hard to get back into it. I’m not talking about writing a blog, I’m talking about writing articles or my 5000 word experiment. I was going to start project get-up-early and get-things-done today. Nope!! ROTFL! –That’s not exactly true. I did try to pick up in the front room  a little, and I had two guests over for a bit. So, I did SOMETHING more than I usually do. But I had a list of like 20 things to do. I checked off like 2 things. Oh well, you know what, at least I checked off two things. I didn’t sleep all day … that’s better than I usually do!! Tomorrow is a new day. I have OT early, so maybe TOMORROW is the day I will start to get stuff done!! 

I know long blogs are boring, so I will end here. Remember to stay kind. When you want to get exasperated with somebody remember, they are human too with their own things going on. How can you help them instead of being frustrated with them? 💜

Keep On Keeping On, Real Blogger

I want to be a real blogger. I mean, I know I have a blog (that like 3 people read), but I mean I want that to be part of my career. I want to be followed by hundreds … okay, thousands … okay, if we’re being honest, a million people. I want to write books and inspire. 

I guess, alas, that is the goal of many. Only a select few hit the “Big Time.” And sometimes it takes them years. 
I don’t even care so much about money (okay, money is pretty important), I just want to be followed, and interact, and somehow inspire. 

I, know, I sort of need to find a niche. Some people hit it big with makeup sites, some hit it big blogging about all things kids, some do well posting about Pop Culture. I feel like I got nuth’in.


I guess I could be one of those “behind the scenes” people … but where’s the fun in that? I want to be able to do big giveaways and give hundreds of dollars to charity. I want to be a Colleen Hoover or Holly Homer or Kaleigh Baschall. 

I just noticed one thing all these people have in common: they have great personalities, are gregarious in their own way, and have a branding that almost comes naturally to them. 

I’m just over here like the awkward step cousin who gets invited to things because people feel sorry for me. LOL!

At least the kids love me …. most days! 😂


There really is no moral to this story. I am just the broken person who can’t walk right, can’t talk without slurring, stuttering, and getting completely hung up on words, can’t drive, can’t play capture the flag or sharks and minnows anymore with the kids and friends, sleeps a lot, shakes sometimes, has bad nerve problems down my “good leg” …

I will persist. The only thing I CAN do is write on a computer (okay, mostly my phone). Thank GOD for my friend Mary, who came along just when I needed her, and gave me a chance. She continues to be an inspiration and positive force in my life.

Btw … I think I’m writing a novel. I think that is slowly happening. LOL! Me. The chick who has never been good at writing fiction (I would like to thank one of my teachers at Guilford for squashing any confidence I had in myself … which was admittedly slim to begin with).

Just another manic Wednesday

Hey y’all! And the week just keeps moving forward. 

I had OT today, which meant getting up entirely too early and driving to Duke. I don’t know if it’s being off the chemo, or coming down from the prednisone, but these symptoms are awful. More of the same, just intensified. My OTherapist, Melissa, and my husband could even tell I was struggling to talk and coordinate myself today.

Get that perfect angle!!

I have to share this ridiculous picture with you. My OT is combined in a building with children’s OT and Physical therapy, so they have cartoons playing on TVs in the waiting hall in the kids section. J had to stop to … uh … powder his nose on the way out. I thought I’d take a picture of the Wonder Pets, which was playing on the television, so my kids could see it. This is how it turned out:

Turn the camera around, genius!!


Sometimes I’m SMRT (Simpsons reference, people)!!

Anyway, I came home, and tried to sleep … since I’d only had 3-4 hours the previous night. Turns out 2 coffees and a Red Bull will keep you wide awake, whether you want to be or not.

Instead, I researched more small towns … I’m not sure why this has become somewhat of an obsession for me … and worked a bit on editing and messing around on social media. (Dang that social media! It sucks you in, and won’t let go.)

So, I want to get to 500 members on my MommaPossum Facebook page. I’m doing a give away, which you’ve probably seen, if we meet this goal. To be honest, I want to be part of the inner sanctum … part of the creative epicenter … on a website I’m working with. In order to do so, I need a stellar following (this is the FIRST step). So HELP!

My mission is, and always has been, to help and motivate those that need it. Although all our experiences aren’t the same, I’ve been through the ringer too, so I get it! Together, we will make it!!

The wise one.

So, share the Facebook page, and check out the website. There is a new non-profit to check out this month!!

Love y’all!! Remember to smile, be happy, and pay that happiness forward!!

It’s Been Awhile …

My poor little neglected blog. It has been a crazy, fast, busy, full month!!

No more chemo!! I have never been so torn between happy and scared!


On one hand, chemo made me feel awful. It made my hair fall out, gave me peripheral weakness, and knocked me on my butt for two- three weeks.

On the other hand, I now don’t have anything suppressing my immune system. What’s going to stop it from attacking itself again?

I am still on the Prednisone (which is supposed to help), but they are tapering me off of that. I started at 80mg a day, and I am now down to 17.5mg a day. Yes, I can tell a difference. A lot of the stroke symptoms have gotten worse (headaches, droopy eye, trouble walking, trembling legs, etc). Does this scare me? Yes! I am constantly afraid that I am stroking again. Every little twitch, every little pain, every little difference, and my anxiety goes into overdrive.

Droopy eye, thinning hair, puffy …


Honestly, I felt closer to God than ever after this happened, but now I am a bit apathetic. It has been about six months since I went to church, for whatever reason, and I can give you a lot of reasons. You come at me with a reason I should go, and I’ll shoot you down with an excuse. I am embarrassingly fat, I can’t walk right, I’m tired today, people will want to talk to me, and I don’t talk right, I can’t stay focused, I get too tired sitting up …

Queen of excuses!


I finally went tonight. It reminded me that I had to fully rely on God when all this happened, and I have to keep leaning on him for support through my recovery. It is the ONLY way to make it through. He spared me, and kept me alive for a reason. I just have trust, and find out what that reason is.

There is a reason He got me through nursing school, and helped me find the perfect job, just to rip it away from me two years later. Maybe I was to learn perseverance. Maybe it was to learn compassion.

Something I have forgotten over these months. Like J says, “Just own who you are and trust!”

I just have to lean back in closer, and trust. My life has been changing over the last month or so. Maybe all this happened to get me to this point?

Who knows. I know I still have more days where I hate what has happened, and I feel trapped in a broken body. But, I’m learning again that I can be more.

Thanks for sticking with me. I’m exited to see what the future holds!!

I don’t remember where I got this photo, but so true!