1:32 am

Well, it’s Wednesday night … or Thursday morning depending on how you look at it.

I’ve had my Melatonin, Benadryl, and countless other nighttime meds, but I can’t sleep. What else is there to do? Blog!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I can’t believe it. It was just a few short years ago that Thanksgiving meant Mom, Dad, J, and myself. Not anymore! We are expecting at least 15 at my parent’s house. 

Where is everyone going to sit? We don’t do a traditional table. It is sort of a free-for-all. I don’t think … no, I KNOW … there aren’t 15 chairs in the whole place! I call dibs on the chair down in the office … you know … the chair in the quiet room away from the madness!

Let’s keep in mind, I’m an introvert that likes quiet. Also, since my strokes, overstimulation happens very quickly for me. I’ll be honest, I’m already panicking a bit. It will be nice to see everyone, but ……..

Jesus, help me.

My anxiety is also running high, because my cousin will be there, and I haven’t seen her in like 8 years (good gosh, can that be right?!?). This prednisone has made me look very unlike myself. It has caused puffiness all over, but especially my face. I feel like I gained 10 pounds just yesterday! And that is on top of the __ pounds I’ve already packed on, due to this mess. I’m beyond embarrassed for her to see me.

Yes, I am glad to be alive. I’m very lucky the strokes didn’t straight-up kill me, but I am still human. I’m embarrassed of the way I currently look.

And this is a “GOOD” picture, taken at the right angle as to try to mask the puffiness. It’s still there.

I’ve had friends tell me I’m still beautiful. I’m not stupid. I’m puffy. — I’ve had friends tell me beauty is on the “inside.” That is just a nice way to say that I look horrible. —  I’ve had friends suggest I not post selfies until I’m off the meds. — I’ve had people “encourage” me with back-handed complements (I’m not going to lie, they stung a bit). 

But, you know what. It is what it is. This is my life. Yes, I’m embarrassed of myself, but I want to look back and remember how far I’ve come. I want to see that I had it worse. Not to mention, I’ve had some good times too! I want to remember those good times!

Some friends are life!! They speak my love language!! LOL!

This post wasn’t supposed to turn into a rant. How did I get from “Tomorrow is Thanksgiving,” to “Leave me alone, and let me wallow in my puffiness!”?? LOL!

Maybe I’m more tired than I think.

And, here is a random thought for you – Have you ever looked at what’s trending on Facebook? It is rather lame! I was going to try to do a post on a trending topic, but it’s all celebrities! I don’t really care about Lindsey Lohan, Ariana Grande, or Cameron Diaz. I mean, I’m sure they are perfectly fine people, but really? Shouldn’t, I don’t know, THANKSGIVING be a trending topic? 

Rant over!

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American peeps. Happy Thursday to every one else! Don’t forget to be kind to one another!

Don’t know where I got this. Random, true quote!

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