I lay here, at 9:45pm, thinking this is the worst day I’ve had since July. It’s the worst day I’ve had since the hospital. I can’t hold myself up, I can walk, I’m having trouble breathing, I am having a worse time writing, etc.…
I find my thoughts drifting to morbid thoughts. That might sound melodramatic, but it is what it is. I try to stay positive on a daily basis, but today, I just can’t.
In reality, I know it’s the chemotherapy I had two days ago. But, the irrational part of my brain thinks it’s the strokes. More appropriately I guess, would be to call it the vasculitis.
I know tomorrow will be better. I just have to get there. As a wise person once told me, “If you can’t do something strong, do it scared.”
Let’s do this thing.